i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
