If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
where am i from again
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
