even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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