good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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