Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
