tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
