i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
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