I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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