a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
