Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
