Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
