Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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