I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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