Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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