please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
