I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
