I smell stomach acid.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
