I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
