so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
