And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
