If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just want nice things and good sex
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
