what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
