make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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