We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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