I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You pole danced in your parka.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
