So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
