she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
