it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
