i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
