Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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