Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
