You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
