I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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