Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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