smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
