k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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