Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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