I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Betty ford says i'm here all night
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
