The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm really into asian looking animals
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
