Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
