I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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