dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
