I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
