How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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