My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize