Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
