So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
