So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
