Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
