She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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